Tate the Great Turns One

I confess, it was not my favorite day. At least, it wasn't my favorite day until cake time. I'm such a sappy sentimental person and I love to over dream and stress myself out trying to make things perfect. For numerous reason I left this day simple, the least of which was survival. I just have so many things to juggle in my brain right now and didn't have energy left to dedicate to the crafty things I wanted for his birthday. There was no little banner to hang from his chair, no photo backdrop, no sparkly twinkle twinkle little star garland, and no party hat. I felt like a failure of a mother.

I made a new recipe and didn't get the layers split as evenly as I hoped. The cake was overdone and the icing didn't set the way I thought it was supposed to. The first set of star picks somehow vanished and it felt really hurried. Disappointment was rampant.

I didn't know what to expect, and then he tasted the frosting...

That was it. I was giddy and excited and all the worry about what didn't happen faded to the background.

Gosh I love this little face.

I think it's safe to say he liked it. Happy Birthday, little buddy! What an awesome year it has been.

Halloween

How did it get to be Halloween already? I mean really, isn't it still August? This is the first year ever that I haven't had any desire to decorate or even bake (gasp!) for Halloween. When I finally pulled the HW box out on the 30th to look for a wig Aeryn wanted to wear my gut reaction looking at everything was "Ugh. I so don't want to look at any of this stuff." My fall has been spent thinking about Ellie's birthday instead so Halloween has just felt like a little bit of a nuisance that happens between her birthday and Thanksgiving. I blame working. Well, working and a lack of dark chocolate in the house.

Though admittedly there has been a bit of crazy excitement for Tate's first Halloween mixed in with my indifference. I mean, I may be stressed and busy now but I'm still a completely sappy mother.

Tate was a tiny T-Rex. It was pretty darn cute, even if it did look almost exactly the same as the million or so green dragon costumes we crossed paths with.

Aeryn wanted to be Catty Noir from Monster High, but the costumes for sale don't come large enough for her anymore and she didn't get super excited about me making it for her. We went looking for fabric and picked some out but ended up leaving without it because the cutting line was ridiculously long and slow moving. In the car on our way home the creativity started flowing.

I had suggested being a Vet, since she loves animals to an extreme level, but it was quickly vetoed. Then we got home and Jim suggested being a Vet and she jumped all over that idea. It seems mom's ideas are just not cool. Somehow it was all forgotten though and she decided to recycle last year's Aphrodite costume with one small change. Instead of the pink scarf and blond hair she wanted a blue scarf and brown hair. I was a bit of a stinker though and wouldn't buy a new wig. In the end her Athena costume looked pretty much the same as her Aphrodite one and I was glad that all my challenges sewing the dress last year actually proved to be worthwhile.

Our ward doesn't throw Halloween parties. Well, they did, until last year when some unfortunate scheduling put the ward party on the same night as a Duck football game and we had to cancel. That was the end of the ward Halloween festivities in these parts. One family decided they wanted a gathering anyway and recruited ward contributions to put together a little celebration complete with chili cookoff, games, and trunk or treating that took place in the building classrooms instead of the parking lot because of rain.

Tate spent most of the evening playing with the bars underneath this table and Aeryn ran off with friends and did her own thing. It was really fun and I think the activities committee was happy to enjoy the party without the stress of running it.

We walked around with Aeryn and a bunch of our neighbor friends trick or treating in our apartments. Every year I am surprised how many people make our apartments a key destination in their trick-or-treating because they are filled with BROKE COLLEGE STUDENTS. It's not like we're the ones handing our super amazing candy. Half of the residents are international students who don't really understand the point of this holiday (truthfully, I don't either) and give out completely random stuff they find in their kitchen cupboards. It is always an adventure.

Evidently we were the "big candy" apartment this year because I bought boxes of rice krispy treats from Costco to give out. I thought I was being cheap because it cost less than the good chocolate, but I suppose the larger size was impressive to some of the cute little ones. The only problem is that my hubby doesn't get to raid any Halloween leftovers which makes the cheaper choice a failure on that count. Lesson learned. Next year I'll buy both and hide the good stuff from the kids.

Tate's Blessing Day

It seems all I talk about anymore is that cute little man-cub who has come into our world. He is pretty awesome, and sort of consumes my days. I've been meaning to write about his blessing weekend but since it was a little bit stressful for me it has taken a while to regain my grounding enough to talk about it. That makes it sound like it was terrible - it most definitely was not; in fact it was delightful. I just tend to stress myself out at every possible opportunity and this was no exception.

I knew the weekend was going to be nuts. Both of our families were coming and they are very, very different. Plus our house is small and there is not a ton to do in Eugene, not to mention that the star of the show has his own schedule and needs. In order to make it more manageable, I made sure to pump extra milk so we could give him a bottle when needed. I didn't know where we would be or who would be holding him so I thought this was a smart plan. 

Things seemed to work very well for Friday evening and Saturday. We found great places to eat, all hung out at a park, and somehow crammed into our tiny apartment when need be. Then sometime on Saturday night after everyone went back to their hotel rooms I became a crazy person. We had taken great care in planning the menu for a luncheon afterward on Sunday and Jim and I each had our plans worked out. Out of necessity and sanity I had already abandoned half my plans (i.e. photobooth) and was determined to make the rest go off without a hitch.

I stayed up until 1:30 a.m. getting cupcakes made, ironing tablecloths, setting up a basket for serve ware and dishes, getting condiments into attractive serving dishes so that we wouldn't have plastic containers all over the place, and setting out all the attractive serving bowls and platters that food would need to be transferred to the following day. In my mind it was all ready to go and would be uber simple to get set up. I had rambled on all night long about what needed to be done and felt I'd made it as easy as possible. Besides, I'd be there to do it all myself...

But then Tate didn't sleep through church like normal. He was awake and starving after church was out so instead of being the one to set things up, I was holed up in my bedroom trying to keep my baby somewhat content. Naively I assumed other people would be able to read my mind and know what was already done and what things just needed to be relocated. I had rambled about everything for hours the night before... however I have told Jim that sometimes I just need to talk and he's ok tuning me out. This was one of those instances that had I been listening I would have tuned myself out. As petty as it sounds now, I was really irritated on Sunday when everything I stayed up making sure was done didn't actually help. 

When I walked into the community room and saw plastic containers and plastic utensils where I'd already set things up to be served in nice dishes I pretty much lost my mind. This was such a special day to me that I did not want a single thing about it to resemble a tailgate party. When I frantically started trying to redo it all, Jim's dad just said to me "it's only friends and family, nobody cares." He was right of course, but I cared. I still do. Part of me is still irritated that I couldn't plan it all perfectly. Therein lies the key lesson learned from being a parent: you really have no control at all, only the illusion of it.

It stressed me out so much that I have declared I'm not throwing another party at all until we have our own house. Except Ellie's baptism. And probably Aeryn's next birthday. And Jim's graduation. Oh, who am I kidding? I'll probably throw a party next month, just because.

At some point during the whole crazy post sacrament time I realized that we didn't get a picture at the church. Not one. No picture of Tate in his little dress shirt and tie, no picture of our family all together, no pictures of the kids. Basically, no pictures. None. Zip. That was what really made me lose it and I tried desperately to not cry all afternoon from the disappointment.

The reality is that none of it matters. The blessing itself was beautiful. Jim was choked up at the beginning which brought me to tears. Our family was all together and we were surrounded by loved ones. Tate is healthy and happy, and truly, no one would have cared if it did look like a tailgate party. The cousins were all together and running around outside. Some friends and family we haven't seen in a while came by. Everyone doted on our little man. It was a good day.

The next morning, we dressed him up again in his dapper digs and Jim's dad snapped a few pics of our family. Both families headed home and we returned to life as normal. It was a whirlwind, but the things that really mattered were there. 

Tate and The Rally Monkey

In our home, we like baseball. It's basically the only sport I have liked for most of my life, and if I had to guess it's one of Jim's favorites, at least it is now that baseball season is getting going. Most of the time I think his favorite sport is whatever is going on at the moment, just like his favorite food is whatever he's currently eating (unless it's chocolate pasta).

It looks as though his eyes are going to be brown. There was a lighter blue ring around his pupil that is now becoming a golden tan color. I am very happy about this - I love brown eyes and my family is filled with light eyes so they feel uncommon to me, even though that isn't the case in the worldwide genetic pool.

He really wasn't sure what was going on here.

He has the most expressive eyebrows. It's not uncommon for extreme ranges of emotion to be conveyed purely through the squishing of his eyebrows.

Check out that eyebrow dimple! It's pretty much my favorite. His little scowling face is pretty awesome too. I actually get this look from him quite often, as though he knows how ridiculous I'm acting to try and entertain him.

And... the winner. I wasn't sure I was going to get any smiles from him this time around. He was happy enough, but that monkey was just weird enough that he didn't quite know what to make of it. At one point he tried to smoosh the whole thing into his mouth and ended up with his face covered in loose white fur. Just you wait, little buddy, the rally monkey will make baseball unlike anything you've seen before.

Oregon Coast

On spring break we typically head to the coast. At least, when we stay in town for the week that is. This year we were extremely lucky and had near perfect weather. Temperatures were in the 60's, with clear sunny skies. The wind was pretty extreme, but we haven't ever been there when it wasn't. The kids had a blast, as always.

I stayed at the car to feed Tate and by the time I made it out to the water, the girls were already wet past their waists. They don't hold back when it comes to water.

Kick-splash water fight! I'm pretty sure Ellie won this one, in part because of strategic time-outs when Aeryn was closing in on her.

We made sure Tate was quite bundled up and I think we succeeded in keeping him warm. He did not appreciate the wind on his face though.

Jim was determined to have Tate get his first feel of the ocean, despite the chill. He had fallen asleep and didn't even flinch when his toes touched the water. I was quite surprised actually, even though he is extremely mellow and good natured the Pacific is still rather cold.

We tried to get a pic of everyone's feet together, but didn't organize it well enough to fit in the frame so it's just the kids here. Aeryn and I can share shoes now though so her feet can just count for both of us.

My loves. Part of me wishes I was in the picture too, but I really like having one of all my favorite people, especially one that gets genuine smiles from them all. It was a wonderful day. 

Our {3} Kids

Seriously, our kids are the best. Really, would you expect us to think any less? This spring break has been so fun. The best part for me has just been seeing how much the girls love Tate. He is by far the most entertaining person in our home, and they would hang out with him every single second if we would give them greater autonomy with him.

We had Tate's blessing scheduled for the first weekend of Ellie's spring break so that she would be here when it happened. Most of our family came out and it felt like half of sacrament meeting was filled with our friends. I'm not going to lie, I stressed about it like nobody's business and had an anxious pit in my stomach all morning the day of. I felt like I had pared my goals down to the bare minimum and I still couldn't keep it organized. That is a story for another day (I'm still a bit tense about it), but the one thing that I most regret is not getting a family picture outside the church. As soon as we were home people started changing clothes and scattering so it wasn't just that we didn't get a pic at church, we didn't get any pictures at all. I don't have a picture from Aeryn's blessing day either and it's one of the things I have always regretted. As it is, I have more pictures of myself on my blessing day than either of my babies. Considering the advances in photography since my infancy that just seems wrong.

To make up for this I declared that today would be a make-up picture day. I instructed everyone to wear the same clothes they did for his blessing and we were going to get a pic after church and all would be well. It was a grand plan, until Tate had a little hunger prompted meltdown five minutes before church was out, I forgot his tie and shoes (because the point was to recreate it exactly), and as soon as we were home the comfy clothes came out before I even realized it and there was no hope of getting a family picture - at church or not. In consolation I took a few pictures of the kids all together. It isn't all of us, but it's the three of them and that is at least something.

It was surprising how cooperative the girls were. Usually one of them is cooperative while the other is distracted, but I think having Tate there made it easier for them. This kid better get used to smooches - the girls are constantly trying to kiss him.

I'm a pretty sappy parent and I'm constantly thinking about how I will never be able to get any moment back. I take way too many pics with my phone and try to memorize every little thing. It may be a sickness. I want to remember the girls with this little baby as he is now because I know all too well that this phase will pass extremely quickly. Before Ellie comes back for the summer he will change so much. He rolled over a few days ago and it was extremely challenging for him, but then today he rolled twice in succession and it looked almost effortless. That's quite a good accomplishment for 2 months old, who knows what he'll figure out next.

These little people make our lives quite fantastic. I want to keep them forever.